where i end and you begin (inter-blog reference)

Margo wrote a very interesting post the other day about the unknown paths of someone and staying relative to oneself, describing her and her students' journeys..and it put me in thoughts...

so let's start from the big bang:
my students were born in 1987,1988 or 1989, 1990 etc
when i talk about the fall of the Berlin wall, I remember myself at the age of 9 being absolutely glued in front of the tv watching--they were not even born or they were just babies; hence there is a gap in terms of reference, not necessary but it occurs many times..this is not the point, the point is that there is a gap that you might fall in.

then today, I was pacing up and down the exam room in my university looking at my students taking their final exam of a module on performance and globalisation (which was such a pain throughout the months between october and december). one of them asked me to go to the toilet (and i had to escort him, ah! the joys of invigilation!), on the way back I saw that he was wearing a big budge saying '21 today'..I smiled as I always do when I feel uncomfortable or guilty.

for the rest of the exam, I was thinking of a time travel machine that I could take and go back to the years 1999 or 1998 when these people where 10 and I was 18,19,20 writing exams, hating latin and thinking that I knew everything. I am trying to bring myself back in their shoes knowing that there is nothing more relative than the experience of being an undergraduate student.
and then tonight, my most favourite student ever and now a very dear and close friend announces his good news and prospects of study for next year; 'you are about to embark on a most delightful journey', the little piece of paper from the fortune cookie of the night of September 16th 2002 came to mind straightaway, the moment that I read his message; I am still travelling this journey and he is about to embark on one of his own...then is the gap growing smaller? it is just where you situate yourself in the line of this journey (very start, start, middle, towards the end, about to finish) that is different. or is it?

being relative to oneself means keep asking questions, right?
my questions tonight are:

1. has it really been 10 years since I got that funny book as a birthday gift for my brother and he was 21 and I was 19? (I froze tonight when he reminded me; 'no sense of humour' he said; true i find it very difficult to keep my sense of humour these days)
2. why do I keep on choosing to fall on my steps through the walk of someone else? and how can I not believe that time, after all the fuss, the trouble and the arguments, is indeed cyclical?

radiohead's song comes to mind...
'there is a gap in between, there is a gap where we meet,
where I end and you begin..'

13 gifts that i had in my sleep

a yellow raincoat
the bike I used to ride when I was 5
my cat
the book that I never finished
a parachute
a paper moon
a glass of the finest orange juice
a dolphin
my grandmother
words words words
a small ball of white, red and blue stripes
the sound of spring rain
the keys to the fourth dimension

and in my own time...

i started disliking airplanes
but mostly airports with all the plastic bags and the crap surrounding them
'smoking is not permitted in the building; please use only the designated areas..'
perhaps the term 'non-place' really is accurate; or empty place in my case
...
i also realised that an avocado can stay alive in the fridge for
more than 15 days..still decided to throw it away
...
i got rid of the christmas tree in one go
no second thoughts, no wondering of what might happen till next christmas
..
i have this crazy urge to start smoking in my study like good old days
i will keep fighting against it --for a while
..
heard the silence buzzing in my ears last night
had to turn on all the lights
and sing to forget it
i am still carrying it with me
..
am getting used to not hearing my top favourite phrases
'stuff' and 'how is life?'
...
am landing
...
how long does it take for a space to turn into a place?

in the meantime..2.

in the meantime, America is waiting for Obama's inauguration
there are websites counting down the hours
and I want to believe in the articles that claim that regardless of the pressure and the complexities of the present moment, the 44th American President can actually 'do it'.

but why are U2 always present in such momentous events?
I really don't like them anymore

in the meantime...1. a fragile ceasefire

a 'fragile ceasefire' was signed in Gaza, I read in the paper this morning
of course fragile..since some claim that 'the job has not been completed." Netanyahu, who is expected to be Prime Minister next month, refers apparently to Hamas and extremists..
i think that a large part of the international community thinks that 'the job' is anything but defence..

check out the article in The Independent for a brief but accurate account of 'What really happened in Gaza'..and enlarge the image of the man leaving his home, carrying his belongings and not looking back..